It’s been a month. So much for my faithfully posting each week. I think this time I have not posted purely out of fear.
On August 26th my friend Tosha prayed for me. It wasn’t a particularly fancy prayer, just one of those prayers you pray together after a time of sharing. At the end of her prayer she added a special request, that God would heal my asthma so that I could fulfill His calling on my life, or in the words of Beth Moore, “Do the thing.”
Through the years many people have prayed for me so I thought, “That’s nice” but I had no real expectation that it would “take.” It did. I haven’t needed an inhaler, or a shot, or even allergy medicine. It’s been a month of wondering if it’s real, will it last, am I truly safe?
Since August 26th I have approached each new situation with suspicious optimism. Each event, meeting, gathering, or even shopping trip has been a different kind of adventure. Will I still breathe unaided? Is there a cough, or pain as I breathe, around the next corner? Is there an inhaler with the next breath I take? Am I going to pass out and meet the floor unexpectedly? Will I need someone to stick the epi-pen in my thigh?
I can answer “No” to each question. I have not had to leave any situation since the end of August. My life has changed. In 1978 my problems began with a lung infection. In 1983 we moved to Hawaii and the volcano compounded the problems that had started in 1978. In 1987 a Dr. told me I had Big Island asthma and 1988 we had to leave the mission field due to my failing health. As the years have passed my limitations have increased. Last year my Dr. wrote in my chart that I should probably not leave my house.
As I ponder what this means, and why now, I am reminded of a teaching by my friend Melissa Harding, http://melissaharding.org. A little over a year ago she spoke of the woman who was healed from being bent double for 18 years. Jesus healed her, she stood straight and that is as far as my meditation had ever gone. Melissa took it further. She challenged us to ask what that woman had to do when she got home. I sat thinking, “I dunno.”
What Melissa said next, is now more than an intellectual curiosity, it’s my new reality. The woman Jesus healed had to rearrange her life. Her home was probably designed for her limitations and in order to stand upright, she had some work to do.
So, I have some work to do. I have to press into God to ask Him what’s next. Why heal me now, after 33 years? Am I already doing the thing and this is just His grace? I don’t have an answer yet. I do know that I have to learn to walk without fear. I don’t need a Plan B when I leave the house. I need to walk in confidence, learn a new walk of faith.
Steve told me to apply the Manna Principle, I am healed for today and I need to trust God with tomorrow. And so I begin to learn to walk anew, with a grateful heart, in awe of a God far beyond my comprehension.